Here With Us

as i was getting prepared, over the last few weeks and days, to sing tonight at our church's christmas worship celebration 'Here With Us', i did alot of thinking about Mary...one of the songs i sang was 'Baby Mine', while Lindi Connally did a beautiful liturgical dance...it was a vision that my sweet husband and i both kind of came up with, as we were listening to this song that we had listened to countless times, but all of a sudden heard it with new ears...a song i've sung to my babies for years, that took on a whole new meaning as i thought about it through the voice of Mary singing to her baby boy...i don't think i will ever listen to the song now without thinking of her

words like 'if they knew, sweet little you....they'd end up loving you too...all those same people who scold you, what they'd give just for the right to hold you'

or like 'little one, when you play...don't you mind what they say'

or even words as simple as 'from your head down to your toes'...what must that have been like for her mother heart, as she rocked her Savior to sleep, to look down at those tiny fingers and toes and know that they would one day be pierced and bleed...for her?

what must that have been like? looking at Him and knowing He had all the power of God...that those infant eyes had seen the beginning of time...that He was her Savior King...Jesus Christ, Lord at His birth...and, yet, at the same time...he was her baby...it seems so overwhelming to me...but as i opened my daily advent meditation this morning, it was so timely...i was reminded of the heart God gave this young girl, and why He probably chose to use her in the first place...

'The Annunciation story (Luke 1:26-38) is the crescendo point to scripture’s theme of total grace and gift. Did you ever notice that Mary does not say she’s “not worthy”? She only asks for clarification: “How can this happen? I am a virgin” (Luke 1:34). She never asks if, whether, or why!
That is quite extraordinary and reveals her egolessness. Mary becomes the archetype of perfect receptivity. It takes the entire Bible to work up to one perfect vessel that knows how to say an unquestioning yes to an utterly free gift!' (Richard Rohr)

i love that term...'perfect receptivity'...what a lesson! just as Jonathan reminded us tonight...when we start to think God is far away, or that he 'came' past tense, or ask for Him to show up...we forget what the story of Christmas tells us...not just that He came, but that HE IS ALREADY HERE...HERE WITH US!
 what richness might we miss if we spend our eyes looking for the why or the how instead of seeing what is here now...what has always been and what is to come...the alpha and omega, the beginning and end...EMMANUEL, God WITH Us

so, no, i don't think i'll ever be able to sing this sweet lullaby to my baby boys again without thinking of a young girl...a labor of love...a mother heart...an open heart...a heart used by God to change the world forever

'rest your head close to my heart, never to part, baby of mine.'

one year

'home again, home again, jiggity jig'

that was the status that i posted on facebook, at 6:11 pm, exactly one year ago.

one year. may not seem too significant but, for those who know us even kind of well, you may understand the significance of those words and this day...you see, from october 2006 until november 15, 2010, the longest amount of time that i spent at home was about 3 weeks...in between hospitalizations that lasted, on average, from 2-3 months at a time, due to health problems i've battled since i was 18...but on november 15, 2010 i left the hospital and have not returned yet.

this year hasn't been perfect, and i still have flares, but so far none that have left me hospitalized thanks to learning new ways to manage, wonderful doctors, friends and family who have prayed us through, and our healer and sustainer Jehovah Raphae...i still get frustrated with my body...and there are days that i feel like i'm in an overwhelming game of catch up, after having life lap me by four years.

but God is faithful...and He has given us one year...52 weeks...365 days...i could go on (a certain musical theatre tune comes to mind) one year of morning snuggles, carpool, playdates, grocery shopping, holidays, dinners around the table, bath time, story time, bedtime prayers, and lying my head down each night next to the man who has been my rock through it all. one year of uneventfulness, and for that we couldn't be more grateful...one year of HOME...four little letters that mean so much to me every day.

“Who am I, O Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?" ~2 Samuel 7:18

dad's memorial slideshow

This is the video that Matt did for my Dad's service...can't believe it's been two years...really thankful to have this.

POISON

it's just not an interesting day until you get carbon monoxide poisoning! by the way, we're all okay...got out of the house for awhile and located the source, no thanks to our realty company(don't get me started), but a nice atmos energy guy...have to get the oven replaced..thankfully matt and i were the only ones who experienced any symptoms and they seem to be wearing off, so i think we're all good...but, just to warn everyone...from now on, when i say something stupid or run into a wall...i'm just going to blame it on the poison! ;)

once upon a time...

to the makers of the v-reader:

i'm all for technology, especially if it has an educational value...nothing against what i'm sure is a good product...but, as for your commercial...it DRIVES ME CRAZY!

the opening line is...'once upon a time, there were books'

WHAAAAAT??!!!?!!? seriously, every time the commercial comes on, i cringe. like i said, i embrace technology in many ways...even read occasionally on the iPad...but, if it's all the same to you...i'm going to hold onto my books and teach my children to do the same

for my friend Sunday

what a beautiful service it was yesterday, to celebrate your beautiful life, my sweet friend...you looked dapper of course...we already miss you so but, as the pastor said, 'to be absent in body is to be present with the Lord'...you have left such a beautiful legacy and all the death in the world couldn't take that away...hope you approved of my outfit...save a seat for me at the party...we will treasure all you have given us...until we meet again...

Farewell to Thee! But not farewell
To all my fondest thoughts of Thee;
Within my heart they still shall dwell

And they shall cheer and comfort me.

Life seems more sweet that Thou didst live
And men more true Thou wert one;
Nothing is lost that Thou didst give,
Nothing destroyed that Thou hast done.
~Anne Bronte

so we linger in your light

please continue to pray for the family, and for all of us who love my dear friend sunday. though he was declared legally and medically brain dead on sunday evening, the family has had to make the extremely difficult decision to take him off of life support tomorrow morning.

we are aching at the loss of such a bright light, but we are absolutely certain of the glory that sunday is now beholding.

i love this video (link below) of sunday dancing to the glory of the God he loves so much. he was an incredible dancer and he loved being part of the trinity grace community of faith; partnering with them in the goal of bringing heaven to earth. 

and sunday really was a little bit of heaven on earth, because he loved without prejudice or condition. what an incredible thought to know that sunday is now dancing before the very throne of our great God. 

http://vimeo.com/10093779 

 'and so we linger in your light... and gaze beyond the darkest night'

thank the Lord for Sunday

thanks for your prayers...Sunday is with Jesus now.

oh sun, how you will be missed...such a bright, shining light...such a precious friend...such a beautiful life. 

he was that kind of person that made everyone feel like they were his best friend...he knew how to make you feel loved, beautiful and special; even famous. he lived life to the fullest and was a life-giving kind of friend. and yes, he left the greatest voicemails ever...i have one from just last monday that is treasured even more now. it's hard to imagine a world without him in it because, once he entered your world, it was forever changed...our brown one, our sunday best...oh, how we love you kid.

ever since getting the news, i've had the words of this song on my heart and lips:
 

you dance over me while i am not awake.
you sing all around, but i never hear a sound. Lord, i'm amazed by you. Lord, i'm amazed by you. Lord, i'm amazed by you.

how you love (me) SUNDAY.
how wide the measure of the love that you have shown to me.
how deep, how fathomless the blessings you have given me.
how great is your love for (me) SUNDAY.

i have no doubt that Sunday is with Jesus...singing his heart out, dancing with joy...and telling everyone how fabulous they look.
 

i just keep thinking about what Sunday means for those whose hope is in the Lord...hope, new life, no pain or death...thank the Lord for SUNDAY

Sunday

please join me in praying for my dear friend sunday ibok...he is in the icu in dallas after experiencing a brain aneurism in the early hours this morning. scans are showing lots of bleeding and no brain activity...but we are still clinging to THE ONE WHO CAME TO BRING LIFE. sunday is one of those people whose light shines so brightly...all day i've been listening to a voicemail from him from just a week ago...come on, friend...we love you

Sunday Ibok Caring Bridge

victory

"Then, when our dying bodies have been transformed into bodies that will never die, this Scripture will be fulfilled: Death is swallowed up in victory." ~ I Corinthians 15:54 

 

my cousin Michael has seen his victory...we love him so much, and yet we know that he is safe, healed and whole in the arms of a God who loves him even more...he and his uncle roy, my daddy, will always have front row seats for their Tarheels

BOOK WEEK!

it's national children's book week! READ WITH YOUR KIDS TODAY...and EVERY DAY!

check the site, and with your local library or bookstore, for events in your area...or have an event of your own! http://www.bookweekonline.com/

"children are made readers on the laps of their parents."~emilie buchwald

a note about the "quote" gone viral

just FYI for myself, and anyone else who may have posted the popular MLK Jr "quote" that has been all over the net in light of the past few days...you might want to read this...
i came across the quote and it seemed to sum up all of the mixed emotions that i was having, so I did a little copy/paste...i like to post quotes, verses, etc that have challenged, convicted and moved me...and this was certainly one of those...here it is, for those of you wondering:
"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that" ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

soooo...i actually have a book of his speeches and writings, that I turn to often...but, in this case, I must admit, I didn't do my fact-checking, being that I recognized the quote(PART of the quote...MY BAD)
after scouring my book this morning, and doing some web searching, i found this article, which helps to explain what happened.

so, while the first part of this "quote" is a good sentiment(and obviously resounded with people, hence the "like wildfire" spreading across the net)...it seems as though the thought was posted by someone with the Dr King quote below it and then...through the telephone game that is social media and the not-so-exact science of cutting and pasting...the rest is misquoting history...
and this is only a theory, but I know that two of the scriptures that I kept coming back to in the last few days was Ezekiel 33:11, and it sounds very similar to what this girl posted...possible where she was coming from on it:

"Say to them, ‘As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live"

Another verse that came to my mind was: "Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice, or the LORD will see and disapprove and turn his wrath away from them. Do not fret because of evildoers or be envious of the wicked, for the evildoer has no future hope, and the lamp of the wicked will be snuffed out." ~Proverbs 24:17-20

I think the reason that verses like these struck a chord within me was in the way I felt immediately humbled, as if i was realizing all over again what a precious and undeserved gift my salvation is, and how easily that could have been my eternity

going back to the MLK book...I find the actual quote still appropriate and convicting
here it is in it's entirety: "Are we seeking power for power’s sake? Or are we seeking to make the world and our nation better places to live. If we seek the latter, violence can never provide the answer. The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. So it goes. Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love do that."

i do not like to misquote anyone...especially someone like Dr King, who I have so much respect for and whose words I would never want to twist...I never like it when people just spout things off with nothing to back them up...don't want to be that guy :) so, my bad(along with the thousands of others across the web)so, just wanted to get that info out there...although I'm sure you've already read about it...on the internet!

more than anything, i am so in awe of the men and women who have made, and continue to make, sacrifices every day for us all...great men, like my daddy and my brother-in-law...
i know that, as long as we are on this earth, there will be evil...i know that we serve a God who is both just and merciful..and, in the words of john lennon,'you may say I'm a dreamer'...but, I pray that each day, we are a step closer to peace and a realization of the radical love we're called to...praise God that, no matter what, He is always on His throne and Lord come quickly