Monday, September 24, 2012

the three R's we are again. It's been awhile. I've written a few things here and there, but I am determined to do it more regularly. A lot has happened in the past couple of years...a lot lies ahead. It's a bit overwhelming to know where to start in catching up with this blog. (Because I know you are all just dying to hear every single little detail!) But I've come up with my main three motivations for returning to my original internet home(here). And, because I'm a nerd...they all start with the same letter. It's the three R's...and no I'm not talking about "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle", though I am most definitely a fan of those three "R" words (and the Jack Johnson song they inspired...we listen to that song a lot...mostly because the album it is on has been stuck in the cd player of my car for probably 3 years now). But I digress. The three R's I'm speaking of are : Record, Reflect, Reveal.

So...the first one...Record:
It's simple really...I want to get back to making a record of our lives. Living farther away from most of our family was definitely one of the reasons I wanted to start blogging again. Facebook is great for little updates and pictures and one-liners (and, believe me, there are LOTS of those in this house). Twitter is fun, but I am fairly certain that a good majority of our family is not all that familiar with how "tweeting" works. So, in many ways, this is for them. It's also just such a great way to keep a journal of our lives. I love going back and reading old blog posts...written by a young mom sitting up at 3 am with an infant...those memories come back so fresh and I know that we will be so thankful to have all of those stories written down someday. And I'm ready to get back to recording the story of our crazy and blessed life. Here are just a few things I need to catch up on recording...the evolution of my boys' amazingly awesome personalities, birthdays, vacation, moving, health, holidays, and just the daily shuffle of being a mom.

And...number two...Reflect:
So many things have happened in our lives in the past few years. Some I have written about publicly...some privately...some of them, none at all. It can be quite overwhelming to think about it all at once, but the things we have experienced have been too important to ignore. So many things that I want to reflect on, now that I have some time and distance between then and now. Writing itself is such a cathartic process for me...I am looking forward to looking back. I'm definitely not any kind of expert on...well...anything. And, to be honest, I'm not writing with some notion that there are very many people reading or that I am going to say something life-changing. I'm just looking forward to reflecting and processing the things that have been brought to the forefront of my mind in the last few years. Just a few things that I have had on my mind...grief, illness, the importance of community, brokenness, what it really means to love, motherhood, allegiances, and restoration.

This one might be the most challenging. Those who know me well wouldn't call me shy. I'm a talker...but I am an introvert by nature and it takes me quite some time to warm up to people and feel comfortable sharing who I am. More than anything, this blog is for my children. There are so many things I want to share with them. But it is not necessarily an ideal time to have all of those conversations yet. I am thankful for a place to put down on (virtual) paper the longings of my heart for them...the things I want them to know are the most important...the way they humble me and remind me everyday that the sacred privilege of being their mommy is one the greatest blessings of my life. I am grateful to have this place to reveal pieces of me I might not be able to otherwise. Just a few words you might be hearing in the future...album, adoption, and...wait, this is the 3 R's not the 3 A's...maybe another day.

So, there you have it...the three R's...i doubt this song would have made it on to the Curious George soundtrack. This post is starting to look like an english paper or a sermon or something...I've got three bullet I just need a quote or a poem...or song lyrics...wait...

Three it's a magic number
Yes it is, it's a magic number
Because two times three is six
And three times six is eighteen
And the eighteenth letter in the alphabet is...


Saturday, September 15, 2012

mommy mumblings 2.0's been quite a long time since I've done this. I've spent the last few days getting reacquainted with my blog and giving it a much needed facelift. And I think I'm ready to start writing again. I say "writing again", though I've never stopped writing...just blogging. Facebook is a great place to keep up with the day to day...or the quote of the's a great place to keep pictures and reconnect with people. And my songwriting journals have been filled one after another in the last few years. But there is something about having this blog, and a sort of record of our lives, that I have truly missed. And, though I don't expect to have all that many readers, there is something about making your voice heard that I have also missed. I have alot of things swirling around in my head...and I think that this might be the place to give voice to those thoughts, those fears, those disappointments and hopes. It's vulnerable and empowering all at the same time.

I have alot of catching up to do with what's been going on in our lives...I am so thankful to say that none of it has anything to do with me being in a hospital. It's been almost two years since that has been the case and, though we still struggle, we are moving forward...moving on...we've literally moved to a new city and started fresh. We are reclaiming our life, bit by bit, moment by moment. I am reclaiming my role as a wife and a mother and a woman trying to live beyond myself...and now...I'm going to try and reclaim my voice.