Saturday, July 28, 2007

"I'm Free!!!"

Those were the words that you greeted me with at the top of the stairs this morning...translation: "I'm Three!"

Oh my sweet Baby Jack,
I cannot believe it has been three years since I first laid eyes on you. From the moment that your daddy placed you in my arms, I was in love. I can remember the flood of emotions that hit me in those next weeks and months-and I continue to be amazed at just how much love I have for you. The overwhelming responsibility that comes with guiding and guarding your precious soul...of leading you to Jesus, and yet knowing that you must also find Him for yourself. I want to protect you so badly from anything that could harm you, and yet I know that you are only mine for awhile. I am so thankful that God has entrusted you to your daddy and me. What a joy you are to us! I love the way that I already see in you the same sense of humor, the same resilience and strength, and the same gentleness that I love so much in your daddy. In your three years, you have already had to be so strong and flexible. You were the sunshine that got me through the last several months of storm, and you are the greatest big brother to little Sam-I can't wait to watch you two together.
I hope that you will always know how very much you are loved. Everyone that is around you is instantly endeared to your funny little personality, your sweet spirit and of course, those eyes and that HAIR! I love to watch you at this age, as you soak up everything around you. You love to learn and to discover new things. I love that you already speak in movie quotes, also just like your daddy! I love that your imagination is limitless-I wish that I had a tape recorder with me at all times to pick up those sweet conversations I hear you having up in your playroom. You are so treasured and adored by your family. Your grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, great grandparents, etc...they all love their Jack Jack!

I don't know why this birthday has been harder on your little mommy; why three seems so much older than two. Maybe it is because you have changed so much over this year-you are talking so well and just seem like such a little boy! Maybe it is because of all that our little family has gone through in the past year, and the way that you have just gone with the flow and been such a big boy about it all. (Not that it was all bad-I mean you were getting seriously spoiled by Mimi and Giggi!) Maybe it is because you are now not only my baby, but also a big brother. You have been so helpful with baby Sam-getting mommy diapers and helping give him his bath and his pacifier, singing him songs in the back seat of the car when he is crying, or helping me pat him on the back to get those burps out! It is going to be so much fun to watch you two grow up together. I can't wait to see the adventures you will have, the wrestling and giggling that I will hear upstairs, and hopefully the deep bond of friendship that you will develop as you get older.

It was hard for me to only choose a few pictures to put on my blog, and it's always harder for me to find pictures of you and me since I prefer to be BEHIND the camera-but I think the ones I chose are just a glimpse into why you are loved by so many-just look at that smile-it's infectious...and I really love the one of you in the pool-all you need is some flippers and a line of sunscreen down your nose to look like a little old man on the beach! You continue to make us laugh, even when we are trying to discipline you, which can make it a little challenging for your daddy and me to do so. Speaking of challenging, yes, that word might describe you at times at this age...but I wouldn't trade it for a moment, because I know that years from now I will so desperately want each of those moments back.

You will always be my baby, the one who made me a mother. I can't believe you are three years old and yet I can't believe that you haven't always been with me. I am so thankful for what my life is because you are in it. And I can't wait to see what your life becomes. I pray that you will always know my love for you, and yet I hope more than that, you will know the love of your Heavenly Father, the one who gave you to me and the one who gave his own Son for you. I pray that your life will bring honor and fame to the name of the Lord. That seems like an easy prayer, but it is not, because those people who make the Lord famous often have great trials. Looking at you sleeping in your bed at the age of three, it is hard to imagine any harm ever coming to you. I want so badly to keep you safe, but so much more than that I want to see you serve the Lord and to lead others to Him.

This verse was on your birth announcement, and it is so true.
"Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of warriors are sons born in one's youth." ~Psalms 127:3-4

Thank you for the strength that you bring to your daddy and me through your gentleness. You are a precious gift and I love you so much sugar bear, booger, bubby, little man, Jack baby Big Boy.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Happy Birthday to Giggi

For your viewing's Jack singing to Giggi...apparently he had Little Einsteins on the brain!

What a blessing it is to have you in our lives. I am so thankful for the son that you raised, for the way you love me as if I were your own, and for the way that you spoil, oops I mean love, Jack and Sam-it's no wonder they adore you!

We love you Giggi!

Yes, we made it home...

We are here and loving it...I promise to try and post an actual post very soon...we finally got the internet at our house...yeah!

Friday, July 06, 2007

"The NICU Jinx"

I have heard of the "NICU Jinx", and I guess it has hit us...probably because I blogged about we aren't coming home today. I hate it, but I also don't want Sam going home before he is ready. They are hoping that he will be ready by tomorrow...but I am not saying that until I know it for sure this time!

He is doing alright, but they need to make sure that he can go down on his formula and not lose too much weight. Right now they are fortifying my milk with 27 calorie formula, and lipids (fat) to help him gain weight...most babies go home on 20 calorie and preemies usually on 22. They are going to try him on 24 calories and let him go home on that for a little while and let the pediatrician decide how long before going down to 22. I am glad that they caught it before we went home, because then they said he would have ended up back at a children's hospital, and I at least like keeping him here where they already know him until he is really ready to be at home and eat and grow well.

We also found out some good news about his little head. They were concerned because they did not see any growth, and apparently their heads are supposed to grow a half a centimeter to a centimeter each week (glad that slows down!) and his had not been growing. But after the doctor measured him today, it looks like it has grown. They will just have the pediatrician follow that very closely along with his heart murmur, so please continue to pray that everything just grows and develops as it should.He's just a little peanut and has some growing to do, but we sure are proud of everything he has done up to this point!

We were sad to hear that we weren't going home today, but they are going to let us room in again tonight and hopefully we will all three go home together tomorrow. I'm mostly sad for Jack, because I know he is excited and has been helping Mimi and Giggi ready our house for his brother's arrival. My mom said he brought his rocking chair downstairs last night and put it beside my rocking chair because he wanted to "help mommy with baby sam". He also has a little basket full of pacifiers and preemie diapers so that he can get them for me when I need them...what a sweetheart...he's my little helper and I sure can't wait to hold both of my babies together!

I am thankful for my mom and Matt's mom for helping clean the house and get it ready for our homecoming, and also to my mom for staying with Jack so he can be in his own bed and be there when we get home. We are looking forward to getting there...and hopefully it will be soon! I probably won't blog again until we are there, so that I don't keep us here too much longer...I am really ready to say goodbye to this hospital!

We continue to thank GOD, for wonderful family and friends who have walked through all these hills and valleys with us, and because HE continues to be good to us ALL THE TIME. We will wait on HIM and we'll post again hopefully very soon...from HOME!

Thursday, July 05, 2007

God is good all the time

I know that I haven't been very good about updating this, but we have been back and forth at the hospital and we don't have the internet yet at our new house. But this news can't wait, because BABY SAM is COMING HOME TOMORROW! We are at the NICU "rooming in" tonight, and if all goes well, we get to bring our baby boy home and say goodbye to this hospital that has been our second home since January! This week has gone by quickly, I can't believe Sam is almost three weeks old! He has worked extra hard this week...he got his feeding tube out on Tuesday and has been eating better and better...we are working on nursing, and he has done really well so far, so hopefully pumping every two hours can be a thing of the past for me soon! I'll just be nursing every two hours, but that is much better! He also hit FOUR POUNDS this week!!! He's huge! He will just continue to work on his eating and he has a little heart murmur that they want his doctor to follow closely, but other than that...he has just done so amazingly well. God is so good to us...He has walked right beside us and even carried some along every step of this journey...and we know that this is only the beginning...He clearly has some great things in store for Samuel Ray Pinson.

We can't wait to get him home and especially can't wait for the sweet moment that we have waited for all these months, to be together as a family of FOUR in our new home all together. Jack can't wait to meet his baby brother (well, it depends when you ask him-but we think he'll like him!) He is too little to go into the NICU, so we are anxious to see them together.

It's been so hard not to be able to show him off right away, and of course we still have to be very careful, and it might be awhile before we are in any crowded places...but we look forward to introducing him to those who have prayed for him for so long. And we will only make you scrub your hands for a full three minutes before coming near him or touching him!
(Just kidding...although our hands are raw to prove that we have been doing that daily at the NICU!)

Thank you so much for your continued prayers for Sam to grow healthy and strong, as well as for my recovery. I know that God will continue to heal my body and it has already been good therapy to be at home with Jack these past weeks, and I have no doubt it will continue to heal my spirit to have all of my boys under one roof! Please continue to pray for us-with the joy of leaving to come home comes the anxiety with leaving a place where you have been under watchful eye 24 hours a day...but we know the eyes that are watching us see much more than any doctor or nurse, and we feel HIS presence in our lives so much. He is good ALL the time.

Now, just pray for Matt and me as we learn what it is like to have TWO children!

*Sam is also very excited that his friend Kanyon got to go home on Wednesday after 100 days in the NICU. My sweet friend Jaymie has been a wonderful example and help to me during our NICU experience. You can click the link to her blog to see their sweet sweet story.*