father's day

I wrote this a few weeks ago when i was really missing my dad. Father's day brings joy in remembering how blessed I was with my earthly father...gratefulness in knowing that God has blessed me so richly with a husband who is the best father to our children...and it brings hope in knowing that my Heavenly Father has promised He will never leave us fatherless. It's also a little bittersweet. Sometimes I miss my dad so much it physically hurts...but I know I will see him again and, for now, I will be grateful for the little things

It's the little things...

watching the daily show and wishing you were here to laugh with me...making your favorite egg salad and wishing you were here to share it with me...seeing my boys so anxious to run outside anytime they get a balloon, so they can send it up to Pappy...teaching Sam your famous "Hi, my name is Chubby" story...listening to Jack tell me about Superfudge and telling him that it was one of many books you read to us as kids...knowing that you would LOVE watching Sam play ball and that you would be so proud of Jack and that great big imagination...that you'd listen to all of his stories and give all of his jokes the biggest laughs...listening to those boys beg for "breakfast for dinner" and knowing you'd be proud of that too...driving around in the same car that you bought new for us, after walking used car lots all day with a VERY pregnant me in June 2004, because you insisted that we be in something safe...to be praying for the baby we will adopt, and for the birthmother who will entrust us with that precious gift, and knowing that you and mom helped plant those seeds in my heart long ago as i watched the ways you so selflessly loved and served others...listening to Brad talk and catching a glimpse of him that looks so much like you it takes my breath away (shh, I think it's because his hairline is receding)...to be recording this album and knowing that you would be driving me crazy, wanting to hear every detail, but only because you were always my biggest fan...to be working on an arrangement of "My Jesus, I Love Thee", for that album, and thinking about how those were the words I sang before you walked me down the aisle at my wedding, and those were the same words that you asked me to sing for you the very last time i saw you this side of Heaven...to imagine you rocking your two little grand babies that never made it to this world and to picture you holding them close for Emily and me...knowing that mom has an ache she carries, and that time does not heal all wounds, but that you would be so proud of the way she is stewarding her grief

looking down at my hands and seeing that they are your hands...and knowing that there isn't a single shred of my life that hasn't been touched by those hands...the hands of the gentlest and strongest person I've ever known

that's you, dad, by the way

it's the little things that make me miss you so much

“Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you'll look back and realize they were big things.”
~Robert Brault