Desert Song

I promise an actual post is coming...I know this technically doesn't count as my own original thought...but for now, it's the best I can come up with...I have definitely felt like I have been in the desert for awhile now...People I love are hurting and my own illness seems to be rearing its ugly head quite often as of late...and we are tired, so tired...a couple of weeks ago, Matt and I were prayed over by several people during a prayer service at church...it was specifically geared towards people who were suffering with illness or grief...sometimes I feel like we have worn people out of praying for us...I am so thankful that people continue to pray though...that night was powerful for Matt and me, because my illness continues to be a daily battle, frustrating to my doctors and to me...I long to be a better wife and mother...I long to be more than my energy and health will allow right now, and it just feels like we have been in this valley for so long...we have experienced so much blessing along the way also, and that is never far from our minds...I have the most amazing family, wonderful friends, and a husband who daily lives out his vows to me...I am constantly reminded that God gave me the exact right man to share my life with...He has strength for both of us when I am feeling weak and he takes on so much more than he should have to without ever complaining...we have certainly seen God shower us with many blessings throughout the last few years...I have definitely come to know God in an intimate way that would not have been possible without all of those hours spent in His throne room, begging Him for healing and for grace to endure...we know that God is shaping us through all of this...but oh, how we pray for a new quality of life...Suzy Jeffrey put it so well in her prayer over us that we just "long for a new direction...we feel like we have been on this road and we have seen this scenery before and we beg for something new"...we continue to take things one day at a time...not really another way to take it anyway...i have been back in the hospital in both January and February...so right now our goal is to get through March...baby steps...

And amidst all this...people that I love are hurting also...I feel like it is definitely my turn to take care of someone instead being taken care of, and it can get frustrating to not be able to physically do all that I wish I could...but I do have many quiet moments with the Lord, and many prayers are being said for others who I know are experiencing the desert right now...

I love this song because it is real and raw and speaks directly to my heart...I hope it can speak to your heart also...Obviously music is a huge part of my life...my mom recently mentioned how God has been so sweet in protecting my voice...I have always feared losing it as a result of so much damage to my esophagus and throat because of how much i throw up(sorry if that's TMI, but most of my readers are mommies and a little throw up doesn't phase us!)...and although I haven't been able to lead worship at church as much as I have in the past, I look so forward to those days when I get to...and somehow God gives me the strength to sing...and I think He is showing me in those moments that He still desires and deserves all of my praise...He has been so good to me...He has put a song in my heart and I refuse to let it be silenced...and in these past years that have been some of my hardest, He deserves more praise than ever...because as hard as it has been at times, HE HAS NEVER LEFT MY SIDE...I praise GOD that HE gave me a voice and a reason to sing...and I will still praise HIM, no matter what my circumstances, because even in my brokenness HE can be glorified...it is HIM who fills me up and helps me put one foot in front of the other...it is HIS SPIRIT that allows me to sing praise amidst my questions and fears...because no matter what trials we are facing, GOD IS ON HIS THRONE...what a blessing it is to SING PRAISE TO OUR GREAT GOD!

Music can speak so deeply to our souls, and this song has really been my anthem as of late...I have been singing it over and over again, reminding myself that amidst physical, emotional, mental and spiritual pain...my own and that of those that I love...I HAVE A REASON TO WORSHIP!

There have been many days when I do feel completely empty and dry...when I don't even feel like singing...but I HAVE A REASON TO SING...I refuse to let Satan take one single ounce of glory from my weakness...instead, I will trust in the POWER that is MADE PERFECT in that weakness...every blessing that the Lord pours out I will turn back to praise...because MY GOD is the GOD WHO PROVIDES...and in every season of life...HE IS GOD and HE IS MY VICTORY...this is only a season, and I refuse to take my eyes off of the one who can shape me through the fire...I will continue to pray for total healing...but until that day...I WILL BRING PRAISE...


This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames


I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here


And this is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand



ALL OF MY LIFE
IN EVERY SEASON
YOU ARE STILL GOD
I HAVE A REASON TO SING
I HAVE A REASON TO WORSHIP


ALL OF MY LIFE
IN EVERY SEASON
YOU ARE STILL GOD
I HAVE A REASON TO SING
I HAVE A REASON TO WORSHIP

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here


This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow

("Desert Song", Hillsong)

Here is a video of the song, it includes a powerful testimony by one of the vocalists, and then plays the whole song...I pray that it blesses you today...no matter what desert we may be walking through...WE HAVE A REASON TO WORSHIP!