So much going on right now...summer is almost gone, even though summer weather seems here to stay...it is so hard to only be able to take Jack outside for very short periods of time. Matt's parents just got a pool and that has been wonderfully refreshing...hopefully they don't mind us "just stopping by" even more now!
In about two weeks, I am supposed to report for teacher inservice for my new job. I will be teaching middle school theatre. This is a decision that has had our hearts completely wrenched for months, but I am learning to trust my husband's leading as he follows the leading of the Lord. Jack will be going to a sitter, a wonderful woman who we know and trust will care for Jack very well. We know that social interaction will be good for him and that he will enjoy playing with the other kids, and we know that if I can work for even a year or two, that it will help us tremendously. I am so thankful that I have had these last two years with Jack, as I know that many women don't even get that chance. This has been very hard on me, and will continue to be difficult, but I am clinging to the passage in Ecclesiastes 3 that tells me this is only a season of my life, it's not forever. In the same breath that I say that, I realize that Jack being in this stage is only a fleeting season as well. But we trust that the Lord has opened these doors for a reason to help us get on our feet a little more and that it will only be temporary. I know I will enjoy teaching these kids. I love middle schoolers, and I know that is not a love that Lord puts on just everyone's heart, so I feel like I should follow that call! I also feel like this will be a great ministry opportunity for me, a way for me to share Christ's love with these kids through our interactions each day. Whoever said God cannot be in public schools underestimates God. The great thing about middle school theatre is also that the outside time is much less than it would be in highschool. The part-time job I had before teaching at the performing arts company was great, but Matt and I met each other coming and going, as those classes were in the evenings. Now I am thankful that we will all be home each afternoon and evening together. (I'm trying to focus on the positive here!) I have received alot of encouraging words, and of course, some not so encouraging. But I know that the plans the Lord has for each family are different, and I trust that he will give me the strength that I need to be everything that I need to be for Him, and for my family. It is a very difficult situation, but I have no doubt that God will use it to provide for us, bless us and teach us as he has so many times on our road so far. I would ask for prayers on our behalf that we will have a peace about this decision that we feel the Lord has led us to, that we won't allow Satan to trap us with doubt and discouragement, and most importantly that Jack will make this transition as smoothly as possible.
On another note...anyone who knows me might say that I like to sing...I have been so blessed in the past few nights as I rock Jack (or "mommy, rock you" as Jack says to me) to hear his sweet little voice singing with me. I have tried not to drill anything into him, because I do want him to have his own interests...but of course I am so thankful that he asks to sing all day long (almost as much as he asks to pray, if you read my last entry!) He has a cd that he loves to listen to in the car of praise music, and he just giggles with delight as soon as it comes on. And next time you see him, you have to ask him to sing "high" and "low", because it is absolutely hilarious. The other night as I rocked him and sang Jesus Loves Me, he sang every single word in the sweetest munchkin voice. Then I sang to him the song I have sung every night since he was born, and was brought to tears as he sang with me...I changed to word "I" to "You" when he was born as I sang it to him, but now that he sings along, I think I will change it back, so he learns to claim these words...
I (You) have a maker; He formed my (your) heart.
Before even time began, my (your) life was in His hands.
He knows my (your) name.
He knows my (your) every thought.
He sees each tear that falls; and he hears me (you) when I (you) call.
I (You) have a Father; He calls me (you) His own.
He'll never leave me (you), no matter where I (you) go.
He knows my (your) name.
He knows my (your) every thought.
He sees each tear that falls; and he hears me (you) when I (you) call.
I am so thankful that my little boy is already claiming these words as his own...what a precious blessing to hear that tiny voice lifting praises to the Father. I am just constantly amazed at how the Lord uses my child to teach me. I don't know why it amazes me so much, he said it himself that they are what we must become.
Thank you, sweet Jack, for reminding me of the precious gift of praise in a whole new way. May his praise always be on your lips, and may you never forget this truth:
For you have been my hope, O Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth. From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother's womb. I will ever praise you. My mouth is filled with your praise, declaring your splendor all day long. (Psalm 71:5,6,8)
11 comments:
I have been checking your blog regularly hoping to see exactly this entry with an update of how your heart is doing with these changes. What a blessed and precious foundation you have given Jack during his first two years - you must be so grateful for how wisely you have invested that time. He is a sweetheart, and we get to hear his "Jesus Loves Me" each week in Bible class. My favorite is when we sing our "Bible Song" to start our circle time and instead of doing the patting or reading, he hugs the Bible for the whole song. Precious. In Deuteronomy 13 God tells Israel to be careful of listening to others instead of to Him and verse 4 says this, "It is the LORD your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him." Isn't it freeing to know that He is the One we must seek when the thoughts and opinions of others can be so conflicting. I am praying strength and peace for you, my friend! Much love!
Tine - I know worry is normal as a parent prepares to leave home for the work world. You are right that you have been blessed to have been with Jack in such formative years. He is such a lucky little man to have had that. I can assure you that although the next months will be hard adjusting that God lead you to this decision. It is obvious His watchcare is over you all 3. I am so proud to be your aunt! Love to you all and GOOD LUCK ......Lynn
Oh by the way.....I need you to teach me that song.
God does have a plan for each person/family. It's up to us to seek--through faith--what God's plan for us is. It's so encouraging to see your obedient heart--as you and your husband have sought what God's plan for your family is. I believe He will bless that obedience. I am praying that God will go before you the next few days--calming your doubts--and giving you His incredible peace. I pray also that God will show you just a glimpse of how He will work this out for His glory!
I agree with you totally about God being in the public schools--it is a ministry--and I think He will use you mightily. Too bad I don't have a middle school student--or I would send them your way--you sound like a wonderful teacher!
I loved my middle school theatre teacher! She would always talk to us about stuff if we wanted to visit about boys, school, or parents. And if there is a job to be had by a parent is is teaching! You get some time off (not as much as the outside world thinks...)and depending on your work load you get to share your evenings with the boys.
Teaching is my outreach and my "mission trip" for life. You don't get paid 1/2 of what you are worth, you put 1/2 of the money you do make back into the job, and some days are hard. But that is not why we are there. It is to give them the gift that could change their lives. It could be a simple as the consistant love and safety a teacher provides or the intelletual equipment to change the future.
Thinking about you...
Christine. WE NEED TO TALK! :) i have news and apparently you do to! :)
Tine...CALL ME! I totally know how you feel. When we lived in Smithville Reid went to daycare at right about the same age as Jack...maybe a little younger. He also stayed with a lady in her home who kept other children. Reid did great and I know Jack will too. :) You will be in my daily thoughts and prayers as you adjust to a new schedule and job...Good Luck and hang in there girl and please know you can me call anytime.
Love ya...Heather
Shame on those people that have been negative to you about going back to work. My heart just breaks for you and I will pray hard for you as you go through these next few months. Jack is going to have so much fun playing with the other children and you are going to be such a blessing to your kids at school. I always loved my theater classes! I think you are going to have a lot of fun with that job. You can be so creative and I bet your days fly by. It's going to be more fun then teaching math! yuk! You are right about God choosing those to work with Jr. high kids. Jr. high-not my thing. I love that Jack is singing with you. I have never heard that song. I need to know the tune. It is so sweet! I am so glad you got to have such a sweet moment with your baby.
If you ever need an extra set of hands for anything I will be a call away! Add me to your speed dial!! :) Can't wait to hang out!
I must post. I am so proud of the grown-up way you and Matt have come to the decisions you have come to. Yes, it is rough to leave your little one...but you are not "leaving" him. He knows you'll be back! It really is not the "norm" for women to get to stay at home anymore. Some do, usually with some help. There is nothing wrong with doing what you can as a family to strengthen your future and there's no better time than the present.
For every naysayer, there will be a dozen who will encourage you and pray for you and help you make the adjustment.
I may just make some casseroles for the freezer, too!
And the song you sing to Jack...be still my heart!
Love, Mom
Christine - I understand your every feeling on this, and just know that you're doing what's best for your family at this point in time. Do not let anyone tell you that anything is wrong with choosing to have a career and a family. Because believe me, you will hear your share of those comments. Seventy percent of moms work outside the home, so you are not alone! Feel free to email me at any time, and I'll try and give the little advice I have for making it work. :)
Sara (sarahejl@sbcglobal.net)
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