to my father: oh how we miss you and wish for just one more day
with you...but we take great comfort in knowing that the mark you left
on our lives remains and that you are now receiving your reward from the
Heavenly Father you lived your life for.
to the father of my
babies: you were born to be a daddy and i continue to fall in love with
you more as i watch you fulfill that sacred calling...thank you for
believing that this family is worth fighting for.
to my
father-in-love: thank you for always loving me as if i were your own,
for raising the man i love to be the father he is today, and for being a
hero to the two future daddies in my house.
every blessing in my life comes from my Heavenly Father, and i cling to the promise that He will never leave me fatherless
"I will not leave you fatherless; I will come to you." ~John 14:18
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Friday, April 30, 2010
needing these words of truth tonight
i have a heavy heart tonight...i am so very thankful that we serve
a God who is big enough for our doubts and fears; a God who wants to
hear from His hurting children, who wants us to pour it all out...all of
our brokenness, our ugliness, our anger...a God who wants to hold us as
we weep; as we try to understand...and in the darkness, He can be
praised...
_______________________________________________________________________
"These things I have spoken to you, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take courage; I have overcome the world." ~John 16:33
"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." ~Isaiah 26:3
"For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace." ~Romans 8:6
"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.' The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." ~Lamentations 3:22-26
_______________________________________________________________________
"I will have nothing to do with a God who cares only occasionally. I need a God who is with us always, everywhere, in the deepest depths as well as the highest heights. It is when things go wrong, when good things do not happen, when our prayers seem to have been lost, that God is most present. We do not need the sheltering wings when things go smoothly. We are closest to God in the darkness, stumbling along blindly." ~Madeleine L'Engle
"Don't tell God how big your storm is, tell the storm how big your God is." ~unknown
"For those with faith, no explanation is necessary. For those without, no explanation is possible." –Thomas Aquinas
"Faith which does not doubt is dead faith." ~Miguel de Unamuno
"I believe though I do not comprehend, and I hold by faith what I cannot grasp with the mind. " ~Saint Bernard
"Doubt isn't the opposite of faith, it is an element of faith." ~Paul Tillich
"Faith is to believe what we do not see, and the reward of this faith is to see what we believe." ~Augustine
"Sometimes God doesn't tell us His plan because we wouldn't believe it anyway." ~Carlton Pearson
"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart. And try to love the questions themselves." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
"We often think of great faith as something that happens spontaneously so that we can be used for a miracle or healing. However, the greatest faith of all, and the most effective, is to live day by day trusting Him. It is trusting Him so much that we look at every problem as an opportunity to see His work in our life." ~Rick Joyner
"Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time." ~Oswald Chambers
"Oh, how great peace and quietness would he possess who should cut off all vain anxiety and place all his confidence in God." ~Thomas A. Kempis
"It's a good thing to have all the props pulled out from under us occasionally. It gives us some sense of what is rock under our feet, and what is sand." ~Madeleine L'Engle
"Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother." ~Kahlil Gibran
"Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens." ~J.R.R. Tolkien
"Faith makes things possible, not easy." ~unknown
"Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death." ~unknown
"There lives more faith in honest doubt, believe me, than in half the creeds."
~Tennyson
_______________________________________________________________________
"He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken." ~Psalm 62:6
"Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." ~1 Peter 5:7
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." ~Matthew 11:28
"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." ~Psalm 4:8
_______________________________________________________________________
"These things I have spoken to you, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take courage; I have overcome the world." ~John 16:33
"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." ~Isaiah 26:3
"For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace." ~Romans 8:6
"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.' The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." ~Lamentations 3:22-26
_______________________________________________________________________
"I will have nothing to do with a God who cares only occasionally. I need a God who is with us always, everywhere, in the deepest depths as well as the highest heights. It is when things go wrong, when good things do not happen, when our prayers seem to have been lost, that God is most present. We do not need the sheltering wings when things go smoothly. We are closest to God in the darkness, stumbling along blindly." ~Madeleine L'Engle
"Don't tell God how big your storm is, tell the storm how big your God is." ~unknown
"For those with faith, no explanation is necessary. For those without, no explanation is possible." –Thomas Aquinas
"Faith which does not doubt is dead faith." ~Miguel de Unamuno
"I believe though I do not comprehend, and I hold by faith what I cannot grasp with the mind. " ~Saint Bernard
"Doubt isn't the opposite of faith, it is an element of faith." ~Paul Tillich
"Faith is to believe what we do not see, and the reward of this faith is to see what we believe." ~Augustine
"Sometimes God doesn't tell us His plan because we wouldn't believe it anyway." ~Carlton Pearson
"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart. And try to love the questions themselves." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
"We often think of great faith as something that happens spontaneously so that we can be used for a miracle or healing. However, the greatest faith of all, and the most effective, is to live day by day trusting Him. It is trusting Him so much that we look at every problem as an opportunity to see His work in our life." ~Rick Joyner
"Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time." ~Oswald Chambers
"Oh, how great peace and quietness would he possess who should cut off all vain anxiety and place all his confidence in God." ~Thomas A. Kempis
"It's a good thing to have all the props pulled out from under us occasionally. It gives us some sense of what is rock under our feet, and what is sand." ~Madeleine L'Engle
"Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother." ~Kahlil Gibran
"Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens." ~J.R.R. Tolkien
"Faith makes things possible, not easy." ~unknown
"Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death." ~unknown
"There lives more faith in honest doubt, believe me, than in half the creeds."
~Tennyson
_______________________________________________________________________
"He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken." ~Psalm 62:6
"Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." ~1 Peter 5:7
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." ~Matthew 11:28
"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." ~Psalm 4:8
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
back in business...
In the classic words of Conway Twitty...
"Hello darlin'...nice to see you...it's been a long time"
It certainly has been awhile...I feel as though I have neglected my original home here on the world wide web...little brothers "facebook" and "twitter" have kind of stolen focus from big brother "blogger" in the last year or so. Not to mention those two human children who require and deserve most of my time and attention...I've still been "mommy-ing", but mumbling...yeah, not so much.
Don't get me wrong...I didn't just turn my back completely. I'm not downright cruel. I still read lots of blogs faithfully. I didn't leave the blogosphere altogether, but I certainly haven't kept up my end of the relationship. I haven't even commented on any of the blogs I read, which makes me one of those creepy blog stalkers who knows way too many details about the lives of total strangers without sharing anything of myself. So, I am determined to climb out from the shadows and navigate the blogs openly once again.
This blog has always been special to me. A place to recall and record memories...celebrate the beauty of ordinary days...and share the hopes and dreams that I have for our little family. I just can't stand by and let poor big brother fear that he has been cast off into that dark abyss that is inhabited by the likes of *gasp* "myspace"...YIKES!
So...alas, I have returned to prove my love and loyalty to this little online journal, started almost six years ago by a new mommy just wanting somewhere to share all the thoughts and feelings that I have swirling around in my head and heart. As much as I do enjoy facebook and twitter and the ability to connect quickly...you just can't really capture everything with 140 characters or less. That's where blogger still has the market cornered... it's the perfect venue for combining depth and mindless rambling! Quirky randomness, fun pics and videos, and precious letters that my sweet children can read when they are older and I am long gone...it's all welcome here...and I'm glad to be back!
I am trying not to feel that ridiculous pressure that comes from that elusive "place" that is blogland...the pressure that i felt as a rookie blogger...the pressure to say something that is, all at once, genius, profound and hilarious. I've done it long enough to know that on the days when the pearls of wisdom are lacking there is always an adorable picture of my beautiful babies, an inspiring quote or scripture to share, a trendy product to endorse, an awkward story about bodily functions(never lacking in this household of three males and a mommy who can't keep solid foods down!), a funny youtube video, a recipe to share...and did i mention pictures of cute kids?
Yes, there is always plenty of material to choose from. And certainly, in the last year, we have continued to ride the rollercoaster that is our life. There has been lots going on while, at the same time, nothing has changed. I have lots of catching up to do...there has been overwhelming pain in losing my daddy, overwhelming frustration with our ongoing struggle with my disease and hospitalizations. I just got home 2 weeks ago from 3 months back in the hospital...yeah, i missed Christmas and yeah, that was miserable...actually, i didn't just miss Christmas...technically, I MISSED WINTER! And yet, there has also been the constant...overwhelming blessing in the love we feel from our Heavenly Father as He guides us and guards us and places people in our lives to hold us up when we can't take one more step. I have a husband who is the rock of this family and continues to lead us through this valley. He takes on so much and does it without complaint. I truly do fall in love with him over and over again as I witness his bravery, strength, devotion and selfless spirit...besides the fact that he is just darn HANDSOME! We have two precious boys who have had to learn some of the hard lessons of life that a 5 and 2 year old should not even know about. And yet, we also see the Lord preparing their hearts for service and compassion as they grow up witnessing His mercy in very tangible ways. I know that, while I would never wish these circumstances for them so young, they are being molded already into people who will truly understand suffering, longing and the necessity for a Savior in this fallen world. I still don't know how to navigate this world without my daddy in it...but at the same time I feel such comfort in knowing that my biggest prayer warrior is at the right hand of the Lord, receiving His reward and interceding on our behalf down here. There has been so much grief. But praises be that, while we grieve, we do not grieve as the world does...as those who have no hope. And oh, we grieve. We grieve for the kind of "boring" normalcy that is so often taken for granted...we grieve for the days and months and years that these circumstances have taken from our lives...we grieve for the prospect that this may be a thorn we are asked to bear for the duration of this life. But, more than that, we hope. Oh...Do We HOPE! We hope for the ultimate healing that we truly believe God can give in this lifetime if that is His will...we hope for the incredible future that we know He has in store for us, even amidst these struggles...and we hope and long for our home in Heaven in such a real way, where all of this pain and suffering will be a distant memory...and where I can hug my sweet daddy again. We are learning to pray for healing in a new way...we pray for and believe He can bring physical healing...and we KNOW that He can bring spiritual healing, no matter what the physical circumstance. We pray with EXPECTATION! We are learning to truly claim the power of the Holy Spirit that already lives within us. The power to rebuke Satan and his lies...the power to endure this darkness, whether that is for a short time or for the rest of this lifetime...the power to overcome and to have a full life on this earth as we anxiously await our perfectly redeemed life in Heaven. We have this hope because we serve a MIGHTY GOD! He is Jehovah Raphae. He is our healer. And He will never leave us...even (and especially) on the days when we are downright angry because we can't see Him. He desires and deserves our praise...and there is such freedom and comfort in knowing that He is praised through our brokenness. He is praised in our thankfulness and He is praised in our openness about our angers and doubts and fears. He is praised because His power is made perfect in our weakness. There are many many days that are so overwhelmingly dark...days when I feel cheated and weary and just don't think I can bear anything more...days when I desperately crave the energy to be a wife and mother...days when I don't know what to pray or even want to pray. I know in my mind, and believe in my heart, that our joy is going to be even greater when we reach the mountaintop because we have spent so many days down in the valley. And oh, I really do hate this valley. But while we are here in that valley I have witnessed the truth spoken in Isaiah 45:3 where we are told, "I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name." There is much to be learned where we are at, while we wait for where we so badly want to be...and we would be foolish to ignore that. WE WANT HEALING. But, our hope is not in the idol of health...our HOPE is in the GOD OF HEALING.
So...there we go...I guess we're back in business...this mommy is officially back to mumbling.
It always blew my mind that people would actually want to read anything that I had to say but, amazingly, they did! I will, most likely, have to regain that following since I went dark for so long. But even if no one reads, there is still something fun and empowering about feeling like you have a voice...and that maybe, if you can keep the delicate balance between sentiment, humor, and pictures of cute children...someone will listen!
Oh yeah, here ya go...cute kids!
"Hello darlin'...nice to see you...it's been a long time"
It certainly has been awhile...I feel as though I have neglected my original home here on the world wide web...little brothers "facebook" and "twitter" have kind of stolen focus from big brother "blogger" in the last year or so. Not to mention those two human children who require and deserve most of my time and attention...I've still been "mommy-ing", but mumbling...yeah, not so much.
Don't get me wrong...I didn't just turn my back completely. I'm not downright cruel. I still read lots of blogs faithfully. I didn't leave the blogosphere altogether, but I certainly haven't kept up my end of the relationship. I haven't even commented on any of the blogs I read, which makes me one of those creepy blog stalkers who knows way too many details about the lives of total strangers without sharing anything of myself. So, I am determined to climb out from the shadows and navigate the blogs openly once again.
This blog has always been special to me. A place to recall and record memories...celebrate the beauty of ordinary days...and share the hopes and dreams that I have for our little family. I just can't stand by and let poor big brother fear that he has been cast off into that dark abyss that is inhabited by the likes of *gasp* "myspace"...YIKES!
So...alas, I have returned to prove my love and loyalty to this little online journal, started almost six years ago by a new mommy just wanting somewhere to share all the thoughts and feelings that I have swirling around in my head and heart. As much as I do enjoy facebook and twitter and the ability to connect quickly...you just can't really capture everything with 140 characters or less. That's where blogger still has the market cornered... it's the perfect venue for combining depth and mindless rambling! Quirky randomness, fun pics and videos, and precious letters that my sweet children can read when they are older and I am long gone...it's all welcome here...and I'm glad to be back!
I am trying not to feel that ridiculous pressure that comes from that elusive "place" that is blogland...the pressure that i felt as a rookie blogger...the pressure to say something that is, all at once, genius, profound and hilarious. I've done it long enough to know that on the days when the pearls of wisdom are lacking there is always an adorable picture of my beautiful babies, an inspiring quote or scripture to share, a trendy product to endorse, an awkward story about bodily functions(never lacking in this household of three males and a mommy who can't keep solid foods down!), a funny youtube video, a recipe to share...and did i mention pictures of cute kids?
Yes, there is always plenty of material to choose from. And certainly, in the last year, we have continued to ride the rollercoaster that is our life. There has been lots going on while, at the same time, nothing has changed. I have lots of catching up to do...there has been overwhelming pain in losing my daddy, overwhelming frustration with our ongoing struggle with my disease and hospitalizations. I just got home 2 weeks ago from 3 months back in the hospital...yeah, i missed Christmas and yeah, that was miserable...actually, i didn't just miss Christmas...technically, I MISSED WINTER! And yet, there has also been the constant...overwhelming blessing in the love we feel from our Heavenly Father as He guides us and guards us and places people in our lives to hold us up when we can't take one more step. I have a husband who is the rock of this family and continues to lead us through this valley. He takes on so much and does it without complaint. I truly do fall in love with him over and over again as I witness his bravery, strength, devotion and selfless spirit...besides the fact that he is just darn HANDSOME! We have two precious boys who have had to learn some of the hard lessons of life that a 5 and 2 year old should not even know about. And yet, we also see the Lord preparing their hearts for service and compassion as they grow up witnessing His mercy in very tangible ways. I know that, while I would never wish these circumstances for them so young, they are being molded already into people who will truly understand suffering, longing and the necessity for a Savior in this fallen world. I still don't know how to navigate this world without my daddy in it...but at the same time I feel such comfort in knowing that my biggest prayer warrior is at the right hand of the Lord, receiving His reward and interceding on our behalf down here. There has been so much grief. But praises be that, while we grieve, we do not grieve as the world does...as those who have no hope. And oh, we grieve. We grieve for the kind of "boring" normalcy that is so often taken for granted...we grieve for the days and months and years that these circumstances have taken from our lives...we grieve for the prospect that this may be a thorn we are asked to bear for the duration of this life. But, more than that, we hope. Oh...Do We HOPE! We hope for the ultimate healing that we truly believe God can give in this lifetime if that is His will...we hope for the incredible future that we know He has in store for us, even amidst these struggles...and we hope and long for our home in Heaven in such a real way, where all of this pain and suffering will be a distant memory...and where I can hug my sweet daddy again. We are learning to pray for healing in a new way...we pray for and believe He can bring physical healing...and we KNOW that He can bring spiritual healing, no matter what the physical circumstance. We pray with EXPECTATION! We are learning to truly claim the power of the Holy Spirit that already lives within us. The power to rebuke Satan and his lies...the power to endure this darkness, whether that is for a short time or for the rest of this lifetime...the power to overcome and to have a full life on this earth as we anxiously await our perfectly redeemed life in Heaven. We have this hope because we serve a MIGHTY GOD! He is Jehovah Raphae. He is our healer. And He will never leave us...even (and especially) on the days when we are downright angry because we can't see Him. He desires and deserves our praise...and there is such freedom and comfort in knowing that He is praised through our brokenness. He is praised in our thankfulness and He is praised in our openness about our angers and doubts and fears. He is praised because His power is made perfect in our weakness. There are many many days that are so overwhelmingly dark...days when I feel cheated and weary and just don't think I can bear anything more...days when I desperately crave the energy to be a wife and mother...days when I don't know what to pray or even want to pray. I know in my mind, and believe in my heart, that our joy is going to be even greater when we reach the mountaintop because we have spent so many days down in the valley. And oh, I really do hate this valley. But while we are here in that valley I have witnessed the truth spoken in Isaiah 45:3 where we are told, "I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name." There is much to be learned where we are at, while we wait for where we so badly want to be...and we would be foolish to ignore that. WE WANT HEALING. But, our hope is not in the idol of health...our HOPE is in the GOD OF HEALING.
So...there we go...I guess we're back in business...this mommy is officially back to mumbling.
It always blew my mind that people would actually want to read anything that I had to say but, amazingly, they did! I will, most likely, have to regain that following since I went dark for so long. But even if no one reads, there is still something fun and empowering about feeling like you have a voice...and that maybe, if you can keep the delicate balance between sentiment, humor, and pictures of cute children...someone will listen!
Oh yeah, here ya go...cute kids!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
done hibernating
well...it's true...after 83 days of
hospitalization...or maybe i should call it hibernation, since i missed
the whole winter...either way...I AM HOME...my own soft, warm bed...my
beloved internet access...and a little family four is put back together
again...nothing better than knowing that we are all four laying our
heads down to sleep under the same roof tonight
Thursday, December 03, 2009
cool video
this documentary looks really cool...what a neat idea...i'm looking forward to seeing it, for sure...click the blog post title to watch the trailer...
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
services for dad
Services for dad are on Wednesday at 11:30 at Richland Hills Church of
Christ, with the graveside service at 2 pm at the Dallas/Fort Worth
National Cemetery...you can read his obituary here.
thank you so much for all the love and prayers...we miss him so...
thank you so much for all the love and prayers...we miss him so...
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
daddy
I ask that you please please please continue to pray for my dad...for my mom; for all of us...
Dad has been in the hospital since last night with alot of things going on. He came home with respiratory distress, and within a few minutes my mom was putting him in the car to drive him to the ER at HEB...Within just a few seconds, he knew he was in trouble so they stopped at the firestation right by their house. They were able to get him into an ambulance and start working on him and decided to take him to North Hills because they didn't know that they could make it to HEB. They told us at the hospital that mom did the exact right thing stopping at the firehouse, because they wouldn't have made it to the ER before he would have passed out and really been in trouble. They got him into the trauma room and on the CPAP machine. They were able to get his heart rate and blood pressure down somewhat, but he was having so much trouble breathing and obviously with all of his heart trouble they wanted to be very thorough.
As of right now, they have both his cardiologist and a pulmonologist working with him to try and figure out exactly what is going on; what is the root of it all. They believe he is in the midst of yet a veryr serious heart attack, along with congestive heart failure, pneumonia, some liver issues, and crazy high blood sugar. He has always tested negative for diabetes, but his mother did have it so that is a possibility...there is also a possibility that it is a result of the stress of all of this going on at once.
It's alot going on, and last night was very scary. But, as always, dad is so tough...and, of course, he is cracking jokes...and mom, as always, is steadfast and strong. Dad has been through so much, especially with his heart. He works so hard and I know his body has got to be so tired...we are just thankful that the Lord has, once again, kept him here with us through so much. I am just so thankful that they made the decision to go when they did, and that mom stopped at the fire station. Lots of angels watching over us. Not to mention the sweet secretary at his job that went out of her way a few weeks ago to help make sure that my parents still have health insurance even though my mom is in between jobs right now. I can't even imagine what we would have done without that.
They decided to do a heart cath today...they were about to do a scan of his kidneys, but because his enzyme numbers were so high, they decided that the heart cath was more important...they said it was risky, but would be worse if we waited and any more damage was done to dad's already very weak heart. He just got out not too long ago and they told us that he needs another bypass surgery...this will be his 2nd...he has basically only had one small area of the lower left chamber of his heart functioning for many years now...but after the cath today, they said that that area on the lower left is functioning at no more than 20%...and that the two main arteries controlling blood flow are blocked. It is risky to do this surgery, with all the other things going on with his kidneys and such...but obviously, it is much riskier not to do the surgery and completely lose blood flow to his heart. Needless to say...we are scared...but we are also hopeful and have total faith in our Heavenly Father...we beg you for your prayers...please pray for God's healing hand...for the doctors who will perform this surgery...for a miracle...please...
My parents have just been enduring alot of pain and stress lately, and I just continue to pray, and ask that you would join me in that prayer, for peace to just surround them in everything. They have always been such amazing examples of enduring; of surviving...and not just getting through, but pushing through with hope...they don't just look at the pouring rain and think about the rainbow that WILL come...but they can truly trace the rainbow through the rain. I am so proud that they are my parents.
Please please please continue to pray for my sweet daddy...i know he is weary.
Dad has been in the hospital since last night with alot of things going on. He came home with respiratory distress, and within a few minutes my mom was putting him in the car to drive him to the ER at HEB...Within just a few seconds, he knew he was in trouble so they stopped at the firestation right by their house. They were able to get him into an ambulance and start working on him and decided to take him to North Hills because they didn't know that they could make it to HEB. They told us at the hospital that mom did the exact right thing stopping at the firehouse, because they wouldn't have made it to the ER before he would have passed out and really been in trouble. They got him into the trauma room and on the CPAP machine. They were able to get his heart rate and blood pressure down somewhat, but he was having so much trouble breathing and obviously with all of his heart trouble they wanted to be very thorough.
As of right now, they have both his cardiologist and a pulmonologist working with him to try and figure out exactly what is going on; what is the root of it all. They believe he is in the midst of yet a veryr serious heart attack, along with congestive heart failure, pneumonia, some liver issues, and crazy high blood sugar. He has always tested negative for diabetes, but his mother did have it so that is a possibility...there is also a possibility that it is a result of the stress of all of this going on at once.
It's alot going on, and last night was very scary. But, as always, dad is so tough...and, of course, he is cracking jokes...and mom, as always, is steadfast and strong. Dad has been through so much, especially with his heart. He works so hard and I know his body has got to be so tired...we are just thankful that the Lord has, once again, kept him here with us through so much. I am just so thankful that they made the decision to go when they did, and that mom stopped at the fire station. Lots of angels watching over us. Not to mention the sweet secretary at his job that went out of her way a few weeks ago to help make sure that my parents still have health insurance even though my mom is in between jobs right now. I can't even imagine what we would have done without that.
They decided to do a heart cath today...they were about to do a scan of his kidneys, but because his enzyme numbers were so high, they decided that the heart cath was more important...they said it was risky, but would be worse if we waited and any more damage was done to dad's already very weak heart. He just got out not too long ago and they told us that he needs another bypass surgery...this will be his 2nd...he has basically only had one small area of the lower left chamber of his heart functioning for many years now...but after the cath today, they said that that area on the lower left is functioning at no more than 20%...and that the two main arteries controlling blood flow are blocked. It is risky to do this surgery, with all the other things going on with his kidneys and such...but obviously, it is much riskier not to do the surgery and completely lose blood flow to his heart. Needless to say...we are scared...but we are also hopeful and have total faith in our Heavenly Father...we beg you for your prayers...please pray for God's healing hand...for the doctors who will perform this surgery...for a miracle...please...
My parents have just been enduring alot of pain and stress lately, and I just continue to pray, and ask that you would join me in that prayer, for peace to just surround them in everything. They have always been such amazing examples of enduring; of surviving...and not just getting through, but pushing through with hope...they don't just look at the pouring rain and think about the rainbow that WILL come...but they can truly trace the rainbow through the rain. I am so proud that they are my parents.
Please please please continue to pray for my sweet daddy...i know he is weary.
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