my sissy...(written at an earlier date)

I almost lost my sister today. In an instant, so many emotions flooding through my mind as I thought of my life without my very best friend-the one that I can fight with like no other, and love like no other. As I sat on the side on the emergency room that I am not familiar with, I tried not to think about the visual replay I was having in my mind through the pieces of the story I had to put together. When could we see her...what would she look like? What damage had been done? Only knowing that I was sitting in the waiting room of a Level One Trauma Hospital where my sister had just been careflighted after a terrible biking accident where she was hit by a reckless rider and had landed on her head...and no, she was not wearing a helmet. Her head...she landed on her head...what would that mean? Would she even know us when we walked into the room? Would we get to go into that room anytime soon? What were they doing...why was this taking so long?

Finally..."You can go back now and see her"...my mom and I walked the winding hallway...passing beds in the hallway, bright lights shining, the horrible smell of sickess wafting in the air...then we turn into the room..."Don't be alarmed", they said..."She's very beat up...she may not look like herself". No...she doesn't. Her face...oh her poor face...she's shivering...she's in pain...her head-it's swollen...cut so close to her eye...blood everywhere...this is not my perky baby sister...she's not the one that is supposed to be in a hospital bed in pain...

Tests are normal...she can go home...she is going to be okay...in pain, but okay...oh, thank God...she has too much left to do...she is the strong one anyway...she is the independent hard worker that does so much for everyone else, that is young and in love, that has millions of friends, that loves her family fiercely and will do anything for them in an instant...and then there's the selfish part...ME, I need her...I need her HERE...she's one of the few who gets me...she doesn't judge, she doesn't even have to ask sometimes; we can be miles apart she can know that I need her...my kids...they adore her...they need their aunt Emily...see, I'm a wreck-I can't do this part-she is the strong one.

These are only a few of the frantic thoughts that went through my mind on Sunday, April 20 after my sister's accident. So many of you already know about this and have, once again, been lifting up our family in prayer, and for that we are, once again, so thankful. I cannot imagine my life without Emily...and I am so glad that I do not have to right now...she still has much recovering to do, physically and emotionally. She is so lucky to have a supportive boyfriend who loves her so much and of course we are there to do anything that we can. Of course my sweet mother has been taking care of her like she takes care of everyone. You can actually read more about all this on her blog.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers. Please continue to keep her in your prayers as she recovers and continues to process just all that she has been through. This is all so hard to put into words...all I know is that once again my family has been faced with life and death and God has once again delivered us into more life. Let us all be grateful and live that life in response to His sweet mercy.

LYLAS Emily Kaye...

*Please read my mom's blog for some more health updates on my family...when it rains it sometimes pours, but as always we trust in a God who is faithful.

march for babies

The walk went great. I actually made it the whole five miles which was a bigger accomplishment for me than I thought it would be-not so much physically; it actually felt great to get out and walk like that again. But I went through so many emotions during those five miles...it was a good time to not only have fun with family, but also to reflect on so many precious babies that I love, as well as just the events of the last couple of years that have left my heart kind of in a constant state of aching. I am still not out of that state, but it was nice to have some time to just be quiet and be real with myself. Maybe I should take some more long walks!


Jack and Sam did great on the walk too. We kept telling Jack that we were marching for babies...and he kept saying, "Well, then let's go find some babies!" He was a little upset when we ended up at the finish line and hadn't found any! But he recovered pretty quickly with a little play time with his cousins!

Thanks again SO MUCH to everyone who donated to the cause. That was just an overwhelming blessing...how could you not believe in an organization that wants to see every baby born healthy? My heart aches for that day, although not near as much as I ache for the Heaven where we will be reunited with those sweet ones who have already gone on.

Countdown is on...and gimme a verse!

Only two more days left until our big family walk at the "March for Babies" in honor of some of the closest babies to our heart, as well as a walk in support of furthering the research and care that is available for all babies every day. I would still love for you to visit my page, HERE...I am only $50 away from my individual fundraising goal...Thank you so much to those of you who have been so kind to donate! What a blessing. More than anything please pray for us as we walk those FIVE MILES on Sunday...I have no doubt it will be a sweet sweet time together...and I have no doubt we are all going to need a foot rub and pedicure on Monday! Matt is walking too, and even Jack and Sam are going along for the ride in the strollers, so it's a real family affair!

I have another post coming about my sweet sister...you can read more about her accident on mom's blog...but please keep praying for her as she recovers...she sure did give us a scare.

Thanks again for your support and prayers for the walk this weekend...our family has definitely been touched in many ways by the reality of premature birth and we are truly thankful for organizations like the March of Dimes. I have had a rough week this week, not only worrying about my sister, but also with my own health...I know it has been the devil trying to gain a foothold and keep me from doing this thing this weekend that means so much to me...but I am determined to participate as much as I possibly can...No matter what, it will be a special time for all of us to be together and to share the experience of "Team Brock and Brody"s first walk past the finish line!

Even if you can't donate, thank you for your prayers...and I would love it also if you might leave a verse in the comments that might be a good one to meditate upon while going through this experience. I know that we will all have moments where we need some extra strength, so I would love to hear those verses that you think of in moments where you may feel weak. Thanks again for supporting Team B and B!

Team Brock and Brody

In just a few weeks, I will be walking proudly in the very first "March for Babies". It's not the first walk, but that is the new name for the annual March of Dimes WalkAmerica event, and I think it is appropriate, because it helps remind us just who we are walking for. This is a walk for babies; those who are born healthy and those who need help to survive. Their goal is that one day all babies will be born healthy and have access to adequate medical care. I imagine that most of you who read this blog are touched strongly by that vision.

Personally, I am walking for some babies very near to my heart-my own sweet boys, Jack and Sam-both born prematurely and both survivors thanks to the amazing advances in medicine and both prenatal and postnatal care. There is such a feeling of helplessness when you are dealing with premature labor and birth. I remember being so scared and even feeling guilty for not being able to control anything. But throughout it all we were so blessed with great caregivers and physicians and of course, our sweet Lord's intervention. I know that alot of the care we received was only possible because of events like the March of Dimes.

I also walk for our sweet cousins for whom our team is named-Brock and Brody Allen, 24-weekers who have been safe in the arms of Jesus for four years now. I don't think we will ever be done grieving this loss, but knowing that they are there just makes us long for Heaven even more. I am walking with their mom, Matt's cousin Ashley, and several other family members, including my mom and mother-in-law. It will be a special day for our family to reflect on those precious souls.

I could not do this walk without also walking for some other sweet twins that I love, Kanyon and Jayde Phillips. They were the 25-weeker twins of my dear friend Jaymie. Jayde has now been with the Lord for a year, and Kanyon continues to struggle and triumph each day. Not one prayer gets said around this house without mentioning his name.

I would love for you to visit my page to learn more about the walk, and to donate if your heart moves you to do so. I have seen firsthand the blessings that can come through this research and funding. After spending weeks in the NICU, I will be forever grateful for the March of Dimes organization and will hopefully continue to be involved with it. Like I said earlier, this walk is for ALL babies...so please take a minute to look at the site. We are doing the Houston walk, but there is also a walk coming up in Fort Worth, so maybe some of you might even like to get out there and walk. You can get to my page here.

Because of my continued struggles with my own health, this walk will probably be challenging for me physically. But I think that is actually a good thing because I know it will only be a reminder of what so many babies have to go through, and remind me why I am there in the first place. Nobody worry...I won't overdo it!

Please go to my page and consider being a part of this great thing...more than anything, please pray that it will be a wonderful day and that this organization will be blessed so that it can continue to bless the lives of so many babies and their families. What a blessing it would be if their dream was realized and ALL babies could be born healthy.

Here's a couple of pictures of Sam in his swing that shows just how much he has grown.

This one is at almost two months old and 4 pounds...




And this one is at almost ten months old and a whopping 17 pounds...

new blog

Matt started a new blog and he has some cute pics of the boys on there...so check it out HERE! I also changed it in my links to the left. Have a great day!

more pics

My sweet baby Sam...he loves the outside and is such a happy little guy. He really is a joy!



I don't think this one needs much explanation! I'm sure he'll kill me for this picture one day! But for now I think he looks pretty proud! We are too!




I love this one of Jack just chillin with his best bud John..."Little John" to be exact...nobody really calls him that anymore, except for Jack...of course no one else calls Jack "Mickey Jack" except for John either! Actually on our Nitendo Wii, Jack has made his Mii character named MickeyJack and of course has created a Little John to play right along! They are so much alike, they even look alike! It is precious to watch them together. I really believe God is already planting seeds for a long and special friendship for those two. No day goes by and no prayer gets said without my little guy thanking God for this little guy!

sweet boys in the springtime

I still have some more pics that I want to post-especially more of my GQ boys in their chocolate brown seersucker on Easter, but I thought I would just put a few for now while I have a second. Things are going well, I still have good days and bad days as far as my health, but I am just so thankful that we have now gone ONE MONTH without me going to the hospital at all! I know that sounds crazy but it is a BIG DEAL! My three boys continue to just be the joy of my life, thanks to my ultimate joy and love that I have in our Lord. Baby Sam continues to battle ear infections and his RSV, but thankfully he has also stayed out of the hospital. We had his nine month check up the other day and he has finally made it onto the growth curve! He is kind of hanging onto the very bottom of it...but HE IS ON IT! Our pediatrician also said that he doesn't think he is going to need any kind of therapy for now, so that is also a blessing. The Lord has been so good to us to protect our sweet Samuel after all that he and I went through to get him into this world. Jack keeps us laughing constantly and is still doing really well with the potty training. He still forgets sometimes and has accidents, but that just goes with the territory!
Not too much else going on around here. I sure do love the springtime and being able to get out of the house with the boys.
I also love those rainy days when we just stay inside and play in our pajamas! Jack is obsessed with the Nintendo Wii that he and daddy got for Christmas, so I spend lots of hours watching him AND daddy play guitar hero and other fun games! They do know that Monday and Tuesday nights mommy just wants to watch her one show a week-Dancing with the Stars...yes, I am hooked. I didn't start watching until the fourth season when I was in the hospital and I cannot seem to get out from under the addiction! It is so amazing to watch the people with no training go out there and do so well, and for some-make fools of themselves!
I hope that everyone out there is doing well, and I really am going to try and keep up with the blogging more...I feel bad reading everyone else's and then never writing! So...until next time...Happy Spring!